Monopoly

Monopoly. Now there’s a funny game. Who the heck invented that? Freemasons? I will bankrupt everyone and crush him or her to the ground and make me rich. Sod everybody else I am going to be a selfish greedy grabbing bastard and rule the world.

Now that is a game, isn’t it?

Ruud Seen in a New Job

It's Ruud!

Whilst the crowd sing, sha la la la la la la la BARNET! sha la la la la la la la BARNET! Ruud gets worried as he thinks they're singing about his hair.

Meanwhile the camel gets worried about his job.

Ruud clutches his washing powder for comfort.

Ajax is the one for Ruud!

I’ve been framed.

Zak, aged 3, takes a picture.

I’ll Take the Long Road

Going out on a lovely evening to do a spot of photography. Parked the car in a lay-by and headed off with camera and map as it was an unfamiliar track to me. Walked for 1.5 hours, sun shining although getting near the horizon. Found a good spot and waited. Sunset came; took some shots; headed back. Dark now. Different way back. Path not going right direction. Need to go off the track (at this point I recalled American Werewolf in London) can hear the road but can’t see it. Decide to cut off the path and head towards road noise. Walked through bracken and heather, clumpy awkward and what’s down there, snakes?

Suddenly a big drop loomed. Couldn’t see any less decline up or down so scrambled down a bank to a small but fast flowing river. Hopped over stepping-stones safely and up the other side. Oh No! Barbed wire fence. No good there’s no gate in sight. One boot in half way, other leg swing over. Nearly there. Bugger. boots caught. Stuck now. Shit this could get worse. Tried to ease boot out. Sweating as wire 1 inch from groin area. Again tried, just budged, nearly slipped, heave over, scraped my leg over the top. Calm down now. Over. Painful a bit.

Sweating a lot. Another steep decline. Over the wall. Busy road with tankers, careful then safe to car park. Phew. Next time don’t be a silly twat and stick to way you came.