They’re pies Jim, but not as we know them.

I was walking around my local supermarket/convenience outlet Lidl last week. I was busy checking out the feasts available--should I go for sardines or the pilchards--when I happened upon a smartly dressed businessman standing right in the middle of an isle and talking quite loudly, to nobody. Then he turned around and I noticed this huge piece of crap on his head. What the heck?

Handsfree comes to Lidl. But this was no ordinary handsfree, this was the mother of all handsfree headsets. And this guy was no ordinary suit this was a businessman of magnitude. Yes Gavin follow up on the broker, deduct the annual Translovian butter deficit and calculate the remainder by pi.
Pi?

The only PIES I know are in the Lidl fridge, maybe this guy had his wires crossed, he was after all fingering the Cumberland sausage savoury pie with added turnips. Happen he was a bit mixed up?

I don’t believe a man of this magnitude would venture into Lidl for a pie only. Something more, perhaps something different? Exactly he was a regular at the outlet, he’d come for the specials! He’d come to browse this week’s offering which consisted of multipurpose compost, barbecue recipe books and the splendid 5000-piece jigsaw of some Latvian castle. If he was lucky enough to have made it the week before he could have gone away with a set of fishing tackle, a thong and a ratchet set. The week before that, a horse blanket (just in case he had a horse or a big dog) a glowing globe and a lot of nougat.

Life for all would be whole lot duller without the weekly Lidl specials. They should surely soon get the old royal seal of approval. After all, they are German aren’t they?